I don’t know about you, but sometimes I just want to be able to talk it out with my partner. Sure, we can talk about how the house 🏡 is going and what the next step is, but sometimes I just want to sit down and say, “Honey, remember that thing you said yesterday? It really hurt my feelings.” 😢

And then they’re like “What, When?” And I’m like “I don’t know, maybe it was my imagination, or maybe it’s because I’m tired or something.” And then they’re like “Oh…I’m sorry.” And then we both feel better.

But sometimes it’s not that easy to have a talk about our true feelings—especially when we’re working together on something so big like building a house! So here are some tips for having those tough conversations with your partner (and making sure you end up in a good place): 💕

  1. Make sure you are both ready for the conversation. Don’t even think about starting if either of you is too tired or stressed out to handle it. Nothing like lighting an already short fuse.

  2. If possible, find a private space where no one else will bother you—best case scenario: somewhere outside where no one can hear! Or somewhere really quiet indoors where there aren’t any distractions.

  3. Ask your partner open-ended questions rather than just yes/no questions or statements. This will help you both get more information about the situation and make sure that neither of you feels like you’re being attacked

  4. Use “I feel” statements, rather than “You did…” statements—this makes it clear that the problem is about how you feel about something and not necessarily about someone else or placing blame. Remember, you control one thing, you.

  5. Stay calm and really listen, not just hear what your partner says. Clarify what you are understanding about what they are saying.

Remember that your goals are the same and you are on the same team. You both want to build a beautiful home and life together.

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